A Toast

Gentlemen, a toast.

To favorite shirts. To rainy Sunday afternoons. To old shoes that are "broken in" not "worn out". To warm summer nights and  that time just before the sun rises when everything no matter what color it is, looks blue. To bonfires and beers. To best friends, girlfriends, and lazy old dogs. to new experiences and old memories. To dirty old hats and visors. To aviators and costas. To sunburns in april and even tans by august. To the beach and to seafood. To bikinis. To hating the douchebag who brought a guitar to the beach. To getting frustrated when the girls your with hang around him. To purchasing a guitar. To the lake. To inner tubes and douchebag drivers. to upper body strength. To the difference between having nothing to do and doing nothing. To sleeping past noon. To going an entire weekend without ever putting on pants. To putting off that thing you know you have to do and assuring yourself that you have plenty of time. To no longer having plenty of time. To the immense satisfaction that comes from saying "Fuck This" even if no one is around to hear it. But mainly, to favorite shirts.

-AJ

Gentleman Pic of The Day

For The Gentlemen: A Gentleman's Last Piece of Gum

Gentlemen, let me first begin by saying: Jimmy never cracked corn, so stop teaching your children that song. He was an American, and like any good American he hired an illegal immigrant to do it for him.

Today we talk about the most sacred of objects. A holy relic that is guarded with jealousy and fervor. I am speaking of course, about a Gentleman's last piece of gum. A delectable treat so precious that it can only be given to a dying relative, your absolute best friend in the world, or just what ever woman your attempting to romance and/or bump uglies with

I regard gum like children: delicious and expendable. ( Plus, they're both cheap at gas staions) And just like children, I love some gum species above others. whether its my beautiful firstborn bubbalicious watermelon child or the irritating and often ignored orbit gum. ( Trident is the unwanted ginger kid of the gum world)However, regardless of gum species, I view my last piece of gum the same way the news media regards an upper-class Caucasian child who's gone missing.

A Reading From "The Book of Gentlemen"

A reading from "The Book of Gentlemen" Chapter 1.

In the beginning, there were boobs. And Man saw the boobs and said that they were good. And there was nothing concealing the boobs from the eyes of Man and Man called those days paradise. But woman saw how Man was pleased with boobs and said. "Come let us make clothing to cover up the boobs so that we may gain power over Man.” And they did this and there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth. And Man covered himself in sack cloth and ashes and sat on the hillside lamenting his misfortune.

On the first day of his lament, Man said: "Come, let us build dwellings for woman so that she may feel comfortable enough to remove the evil that covers her. " so Man did this and called it a "house" and woman saw it and said that it was good, but not good enough. So Man returned to the hill side.

On he second day he said: “come, let us make clothes of our own so that woman will find us more pleasing to her eye. ” and he did this and called the coverings a "Tuxedo" and Woman saw this and was very pleased. But alas, this only made her want better clothes. So Man asked Woman’s friend "Sebastian" to make fine clothes but lo, when he had created the clothes and Man went to pick them up, the greedy little queen would not give the clothes freely.

Gentleman Pic of The Day.

you could cut the tension with a knife...or a shoulder mounted laser

Gentleman of the Day: Mr. Feeny

Name: George Feeny

Life: 1993-2000

Romantic Interest: Teaching life lessons

Quote: " No really, whats your name?...... Are you serious? What the hell kinda name is Topanga?"

Mr. Feeny is the perfect teacher. Except for the whole "being next door neighbors" thing, he is the educator we all wish we had. He's patient, wise, omniscient, and possibly British. If there was ever a problem; be it one of Corey and Shawn's shenanigans gone wrong, an Eric shenanigan gone awry, or the rare Shawn-Eric-Corey-epic-shenanigan-clusterfuck, Mr. Feeny was there to sort it all out and teach the crucial life lesson brought on by said shenanigan. Indeed, Mr. Feeny is second only to Dumbledore in the list of gentleman educators.

His accomplishments include teaching every single consecutive grade in the public education system while simultaneously acting as principal for the same school, holding his silence for 7 years on the Shawn-Topanga affair ( I mean let's be honest) and breaching almost every boundary that should exist between a teacher and student.